Cancer Sucks

During my life I've known quite a few people that have died from cancer. Whenever I hear that someone has it my first thought is "Oh crap, they're screwed".  So hearing that I probably had it was scary. I know that cancer isn't a death sentence anymore and they're making more and more strides with research and drugs, but it's still not a good experience for anyone to go through. And I feel like it's getting everyone. I know it affects everyone. I bet there's not a person out there that hasn't lost a loved one to it.

But with all the people I've lost to cancer I don't know anyone who has ever had multiple myeloma, so this kind of cancer is all new to me.

Multiple myeloma is a cancer of the bone marrow plasma cells, white blood cells that make antibodies. A cancerous or malignant plasma cell is called a myeloma cell. Myeloma is called “multiple” because there are frequently multiple patches or areas in bone where it grows. It can appear as both a tumor and/or an area of bone loss, and it affects the places where bone marrow is active in an adult: the hollow area within the bones of the spine, skull, pelvis, rib cage, and the areas around the shoulders and hips.

It's also the second most common blood cancer in the world after Non Hodgkin's lymphoma. Someone in the US is diagnosed with a blood cancer every 3 minutes.

Multiple myeloma occurs when the body makes too many plasma cells, which develop from B lymphocytes in the bone marrow. Too many plasma cells can result in less room for healthy red blood cells, white blood cells, and platelets, which can lead to anemia or infections. (Both of which I have).

My appt at Siteman is 6 days away. I have a bunch of questions. The big one being- How I could have gotten this? Which I am sure no one knows. But when I went to Mizzou in 1991/92 I used to donate my plasma at the medical center. They gave me $20 a week and that was a lot then. I went 2 times a week and they collected my plasma and paid me. It was a few hours of my time but I felt like I was helping people and it was an easy way to make money. I can't help but wonder if that had anything to do with this. I'm pretty young to be diagnosed with this. Hopefully that will help me overcome it.

I've started questioning everything I put on or in my body. Looking back my mom and I used to do so many things that people would never do now. We used to microwave leftovers in the Styrofoam containers,  bake ourselves in the sun with baby oil, get perms at the salon, use tons of chemicals on the weeds that got on my skin etc.  I suppose any of those things could have caused it or none at all. That's the infuriating thing about cancer. It just shows up with no rhyme or reason. But I am worried about this because since it's in the blood it isn't isolated in one part of my body, and it could be spreading all over the place.

"The most significant risk factor for multiple myeloma is age, as 96% of cases are diagnosed in people older than 45 years, and more than 63% are diagnosed in people older than 65 years. "  I'm only 44.

I am anxiously awaiting my appointment so I can learn more about what's going on in my body.  Cancer treatment is different for everyone, depending on a bunch of factors, so I have no idea what to expect. I just wanna get the show on the road. I feel like I have a bunch of living left to do but this is out of my hands so I'm just trying to be patient, keep busy, and pray for acceptance and peace. I know that His will and plan for me are playing out in the way that it is supposed to and there's nothing I can really do about it except live my best life possible.





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